Archive for June 3rd, 2011

June 3, 2011

If Only Life Came With An Instruction Manual

by brandt

When we were getting ready to sign the papers for the house, my father sat me down and decided that we needed to have one of those “Father-Son” talks.  Thankfully, this talk didn’t start out with the phrase “Son, I think it’s time we talk about where babies come from…”  Instead, he took a very somber tone, looked me straight in the eyes, and said “There is something very important that you must remember when you sign your paperwork for the house.  It’s one of those things that I wish we would have known, and I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did.”

I was on the edge of my seat with bated breath, wondering what wisdom was going to be imparted to me.  Something that would save me money?  Some deep hidden secret of the adult world that was akin to finding the Holy Grail (a la Indiana Jones style)?  The answer to LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, and EVERYTHING (which we have already learned, thanks to Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” and Google)?

THE SUSPENSE WAS KILLING ME!

“I need your undivided attention,” he told me.

Oh, you’ve got it.

“Make sure you get the code to the garage door opener on the outside.”

Wait.

That’s it?

Seriously?

Where was the directions to the fountain of youth, the key to tripling the value of our house, THE SECRET GOLD TREASURE BURIED DEEP UNDERNEATH THE BASEMENT?  That was IT?

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